Asian Drag Queen - now Empress

Cosmic joke

2011-06-15T01:39:00.003+10:00

Right now my boy mode and Lavida are both dating two halves of the perfect guy.

One amazing in bed. One amazing as a boyfriend.

Both with similar looks and build that its getting confusing. They even have the same name !?

Both just as sexually confused.

Perhaps I was born to be satisfied only with two men.

Sigh why can't my guy be like Shelter.

Loveeed the movie Shelter (2008)
You've got. to. watch. it.

Lavida Loves.

Miss Lotus 2010.

2010-11-20T02:20:00.000+11:00

I haven't posted for a thousand and one years. This is an update of Miss Lotus 2010.

Semi Finals=

1st Category - Traditional wear:

I went for the same corset over cheong sam but this time with a Manchurian royal headgear and diamonte on all the floral motifs.

Second category: Performance

I made my own special remix and I put on purple hair. I had a purple belly dancing outfit that I added over a black tutu. I think I look a little rock glam. I was quite happy with my performance but it was a little too much cut and paste to the songs .

Final Category: Glamourous Wear

I was just thinking of evening gowns, I had this bright green one that I hadn't tried on yet so I sewed a lamb skin rug into a giant fur cape. I added Aurora Borealis hot fix crystals down the whole front.

One of my Fave creations.

With that I made it through to the Finals.

FINALS=

Category 1: Spring Race Outfit-

A little background story for those not familiar with Australian culture. The Melbourne Cup is a day where people dress up to the nines, go to watch the horse race and get drunk off their asses.

My fav drag hag Rachie told me to take it to another level by getting a guy to go up with me topless and put on a horse head. I wanted to do it so bad but the guy I requested thought it would be too gay (wateverrr) and I couldn't find a horse head anyway.

Category 2: Performance /East meets West

Now here was where I tripped up. I had spent the day sewing 4 meters of tulle with my minions to make a fabulous wedding dress. My concept was a marriage between the East and West. Who knew that no one else followed the theme and they all did a performance. Good thing I had my CD with me, and just did a crash number "The Boy Does Nothing"

Final Category: Awards Night Gown

So this is a beautiful gold number that I've been waiting to put on for the longest time. The opportunity finally came. I just had to spray a few bangles gold and put on my home made disco ball necklace as a crown. and Tadaa-

Unfortunately I'm the runner up of Miss Lotus 2010. I guess its like American Idol and those reality TV, you always want the second place to win, but they usually go on to be more famous anyway. ;)

It was a really great experience to push yourself a little further. Plus There's a Miss Gay Australia Pageant 2011 coming up in Feb. Keep your peepers peeled fantasissies !

It has been FOREVARR!

2010-09-30T20:43:00.003+10:00

Hi dollies.

Por favorrr~ Loca. The bitch is back, and she needs to serve it up. Lavida is reinventing herself, and competing once again in the Miss Lotus pageant of 2010.

This time, I'll give it my all. No more fear of being a bitchy drag queen. Why did I bother trying to be cute and humorous in the first place? I should have put on Tyra's chant from the start- "FIERCE!"
After watching RuPaul's Drag Race Season 2, I feel much more prepared.
Last year I made a tragic mistake...I tried doing stand up comedy on stage. Dolls... Let's just say, leave that to the Wanda Sykes and Eddie Murphys of this world. One should not try to deliver comedy using another person's style.

This year - The competition is sizzling and tough.
My first Heat will be on the 20th of October at Heaven's Door.

With me dressed up in these categories:

1. Traditional Wear
2. Performance Wear
3. Beachwear or Sportswear

I've been raging through my closet, ripping jeans and burning hot fix rhinestones into the very fabric of my outfits. Here's crossing my fingers to make it work ~

Winter Frostings

2010-06-23T22:44:00.003+10:00

The air is so chilly that my nipples could stab your eyes out.

Yes it is winter here in the lovely city of Melbourne. Where warmth goes to die. Lavida went out last Saturday but the weather is fucking up my Chi (ancient chinese word for libido...or life energy...same same). ANywaysss, I am waiting for my shadow sister to load the photos. but in the meanwhile, I'll show you my beauty during my last outing at Sunday's Love Machine. Where my drag black sister -Mercedes performed!

You know you love it.
Now to get the frostings out of my vajayjay

Stalker & Make the Yuletide Gay

2010-06-01T03:58:00.000+10:00

This is scary but it's been months since I last saw this guy. But it was just a few hours ago when I heard him.

Why? because I gave him my number, one ingloriously drunk night, when beer goggles made him a whole lot cuter.

I hate those who just can't take a hint. - Boy! you are over and done with, now make like a trashcan and put a lid on it!

I know it's been a horribly long while since I last posted. But I thought I'd share my pretty new pic here :)

I've been away in another man's fabulous fantasy. He wouldn't let me go as usual.
Which brings me back to my point. - DO NOT give out ur numbers to tranny traders my sisters who are misters!~
It is a risk we should learn not to take. They are the dogs and we are the masters. Always remember that ;)

Gay movie update:
Make the Yuletide Gay

It was a gay version of an overdone Happy christmas movie. Where family and the fear of being unloved is the same old challenge for our pair of lovers. Good god, why can't someone come up with something original? Or something with a whit more intelligence? I hated the fact that they used age old gay puns! "Don't drop the balls", "Do you want to be on top or the bottom?" "Forget those wieners, try his Bratwurst"--- Rudolph should stick his antlers up their ass.

That is all! as you were.

Wilheldiva Hater

2010-02-28T13:52:00.000+11:00

Lavida loves the episode 13 from season 2 of Ugly Betty - Chica and The Man

A very dragalicious episode. Featuring Wilhelmina Slater's very own twin or doppelganger. At first, I thought, there must be someone else even more alike Vanessa Williams that they could have used, although the drag queen had a certain likeness....unless!....

click* click* search*

- I was right!

The character was played by her younger brother -Chris Williams. The cast includes Ru Paul and Hedda Lettuce. I also saw a cameo by Perez Hilton

I loved the Manna Wintour in the show too. Which reminds me, I need to get my hands on Ru Paul's Drag Race 2.
Bye bye chicas!

Glass More Than Half Full

2010-02-09T20:29:00.000+11:00

Her Highness, Lady Lavida Loca has returned from her Royal Tour to NeverNeverLand.

Back with a ferocious fabulousity.

Lavida has joined the cast of Stirfried - With the Dazzling Hostess , Dee Dee Dazzler and Demigoddess Venus Envy.

3 girls in an oyster. Nothing fishy here.

Here's a video of our special stirfried performance "Anything Goes"

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=309908184738

It's on facebook so make sure you add our wonderful new fan page for more updates!

Come to

The Glasshouse Hotel

51 Gipps Street, Collingwood, Melbourne.

10.30pm till 1.00am

See you all there :)

Alexander Uijleman

2010-01-30T20:11:00.000+11:00

This boy makes me pregnant just by looking at him.

Alexander Uijleman
Height : 182
Weight : 70
Chest : 36 "
waist : 30 "
hips : 35.5 "
hair : Black
eyes : Brown
shoes : 42
nationality : Netherlands

I am officially in heat!

Find out more at - bisean blog writeup

Something about him just has tha perfect blend of boyish creamyness with a naughty playful sexual appeal.
Ok I need some alone time now.

Manga Fox: Futaba-kun Change Manga Series

2010-01-16T22:06:00.000+11:00

When I was a teen (which wasn't that long ago) I remember reading this comic about a boy whose hereditary condition that surfaces at puberty caused him to change sex whenever he was excited or stress. It was one of the funniest stories I've ever read, making 'normal' puberty seem a breeze in comparison.

I have taken the liberty of searching for the database that allows you to read it in english (I read it in Mandarin) for free :)
You love me! awwww~

Manga Fox: Futaba-kun Change Manga Series

Beautiful Warrior Charlotte - Anime Drag Queen

2010-01-03T00:31:00.000+11:00

Girls and Mister Sisters, this is a rare find.

From the popular anime series - Bleach, comes this hilarious villian

The embodiment of inner beauty herself, MISS CHARLOTTE CUULHOURNE

It's a long video, but worth the watch!

I almost died when I watched her 'transformation', choking on my own laughter.

Whoever created this character definitely knows what she's talking about.
In fact, I think it may be based on Miss Noxeema Jackson ala To Wong Foo, played by Wesley Snipes.

Here's a ode to Ms Jackson for being an inspiration to us all.

Drag Make Up

2009-12-10T05:40:00.000+11:00

Where am I? What day is it?

Holla out there, your dear Lavida is back from Rehab! and I'm here to show you guys the magic of make up.

Yes, Lavida and Mercedez went out to the suburbs to get our make up professinally done. oh shit, i may need to stay in rehab.

Anyway, enough of my slurring, here we go!

Step 1- The Base.

for a good long lasting make up base, we put on the Primer so everything goes smooth. Then slap on a thick thick slab of cream foundation (liquid foundation is more natural but doesn't give as much coverage).

You can also add the harsh contour lines for it to start setting.

Then we use semi-liquefied soap to cover the brows. Repeat a few layers. Eventually, the eye brows are ready to be covered over with foundation, and pigmented mousse.

Practically invisible!

Step 2: EyeShadow
prepare your color scheme. For a truly over-the-top, signature drag look, your eyebrows are where your crease will be from now on.
Take your finger to the lid crease, where the eye sockets meet the brow bone, you're going to lift that by a fingers' width to your brow, and do a dark colour there. Try to blend it from dark to light, blending upwards.

As your eyebrows are bumpy under the soap layers, you'll want to get cream pigments, or face paint to finish the colours.

It will end up with a much smoother effect. You can see the result here, although my friend has forgotten to blend a lighter color on top of the red, which is supposed to be the crease.

STEP 3 : Eyebrows

Now this is a tough one, because you never know which type of arch suits your face.
Generally though, one should start pretty close to the bridge of your nose, and then draw it high to about 2/3rds of your eye's length (a little after where my yellow high lights turn to green shadow), and then draw it back down towards your cheekbones.

This isn't a really good example, but it's my friend's first time doing drag make up.
Almost done :)

Step 4: Glitterize!
Drag queens are about an excess of femininity. bright, sparkly shiny and colorful. just put that on your face. hahaa. well, it depends if you know how to do it tastefully.
My friend finished off with a few stick-on rhinestones at the corners of my eyes. It is always good to know that drawing things upwards create a more youthful effect. Add the wig and
TADAA!

Lavida is out to play!:) Mercedez is done too

We are the new Drag Bomb Diggity!

Genderfun, Photofun

2009-11-23T09:52:00.000+11:00

You all know I love my dear friend Amnesia Sparkles,
I was looking at her page when I found this cute video she posted up.

It is so amusing. Some male hollywood stars as a woman. It actually kinda suits some of them.

These pictures remind me of the super fun Photofunia.

Another link for my lovelies:

and

And my favourite one!

Victoria's New Secret bitches! - She's a Man

http://www.photofunia.com

The Iron Ladies

2009-11-22T15:42:00.000+11:00

Many years ago, I saw a trailer about a show that featured transsexuals and crossdressers as a Volleyball team.

I just happened to remember wanting to watch it many years ago, but downloading movies wasn't as accessible as it is today.
After hours of searching and getting dead torrents, I finally managed to find it on a forum site.
Just because it was termed as an 'Asian' torrent, it seem to make it a lot harder to get.
For those of you who are interested, this is the link where you can get it.
The Iron Ladies Torrent

You will not be able to download it unless you sign up for an account though, but there's no fees, which is good.
I'm currently waiting for the show to finish downloading, but once that's done I'll give you a little review of my own. There is also a sequel which I plan to watch, and with a membership to this Avista forum for Asian torrents (what a load of pretentious exclusive wannabes), I can watch it now.
I love technology.

Bad Romance

2009-11-21T09:03:00.000+11:00

Ro ma, RO MAMA! Gaga, OOH LALA!

I am so loving Gaga's new song Bad Romance.
She always has the perfect theme and the perfect awe inspiring video to set my dance legs on fire!

OMG!

I am Loving those snap trap heels she wears! By Alexander McQueen!

These ones:

And I love that Polar Fur Rug/Coat! Have a grand entrance and drop it to the floor~
LOVE IT!

*just in* its a Faux fur coat by Benjamin Cho. snaps for this mister sister!

DRRRAMAA Dra ma ma , Gaga Ooh La la!

More behind the scenes

The Fashion Show!
Tranny Heels Are IN!!!!

Loca

2009-11-19T09:01:00.000+11:00

I am very proud of my sister from another mister - Miss Nina Flowers!

She has just released a brand new track - Loca

Hmm, in honour of me perhaps? hahaha. Well no, I took my name from the great Madame Vida from To Wong Foo, played by the late Patrick Swayze. It just happens that one of my favourite drag queens loves to call others 'Loca'

You can have a listen to several versions of her songs here:
https://www.masterbeat.com/#release/884502262186

I can't help but feel like she sang it in honour of me everytime I hear the 'Loca loca loca loca......'
However, I have switched my slideshow music to the original Livin La Vida Loca song, but a cover by Lee Hom. One of the hottest man on earth by the way. apparently playing on 'our' team ;) if ya know what I mean.

I didn't really think about it, but the lyrics describe me really well!

She's into superstitions black cats and voodoo dolls. (gotta watch out for those omens)
I feel a premonition that girl's gonna make me fall.
She's into new sensations new kicks in the candle light. ( I do love candelight)
She's got a new addiction for every day and night. (chocolate, TV shows, alcohol)

She'll make you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain. (I love it!)
She'll make you live her crazy life but she'll take away your pain ( Meet me at the club, I'll show you)
like a bullet to your brain. Come On!

[CHORUS:]
Upside, inside out she's livin la vida loca
She'll push and pull you down, livin la vida loca
Her lips are devil red and her skin's the color mocha (I know you're starting to wonder if Ricky and I were seeing each other ;)
She will wear you out livin la vida loca Come On!
Livin la vida loca, Come on!
She's livin la vida loca.

Woke up in New York City in a funky cheap hotel (perhaps it was Melbourne city, in a funky chic hotel)
She took my heart and she took my money (yeah that sounds like me)
she must've slipped me a sleeping pill
She never drinks the water and makes you order French Champagne (that's right! alcohol is so much better than water!)
Once you've had a taste of her you'll never be the same (uh huh)
Yeah, she'll make you go insane.

[CHORUS]

She'll make you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain.
She'll make you live her crazy life
but she'll take away your pain like a bullet to your brain. Come On!

[CHORUS]

Okay, I have concluded that this song embodies Lavida Loca. And I didn't even intend it to be so.
Lavida Loves it.

A little Modesty

2009-11-17T09:15:00.000+11:00

I can't believe there are people who do this.

Turning this work of art ^

Into this.. work of fart.

apparently this is done by a serial graffiti artist called 'Princess Hijab'. I am not liking her work ;P just because it is covering up some eye candy. But I suppose it is a brave way to speak up about something.
I'd love it if this was in some Muslim country. However, I'm sure the ads wouldn't be up in the first place.

Challenge authority my hot men! Reveal your beauty! (to me)

Homotography

2009-11-15T09:32:00.000+11:00

Who doesn't love a little man on man action?

Unless you're straight, lesbian, asexual, a tranny trader/loon or strictly loyal to animal sex.
Okay, so maybe the scope isn't so wide. My point is, there is a certain beauty to two men in love.

Alexander the Great conquered with it, Socrates the Greek philosopher perused upon it and Saladin the Sultan of Egypt

*On Saladin

Richard The Lion Heart, had a secret passion for Saladin. Richard also shared a bed with Philip II of France. According to Gerald, the Archdeacon of Wales, they were inseparable lovers recalling that the English king "so honored Philip that by day they ate at one table, off one dish, and at night they slept in one bed. And the king of France loved him as his own soul."

The statue of david is a testament to male eroticism. It is by no means, something new.

http://homotography.blogspot.com

This shot is called "James Twice" by the great photographer Gigi Stoll. It definitely pushes some buttons~

Gay imagery. I love it.

A Drag's Secret Identity.

2009-11-13T09:52:00.000+11:00

Each of us have had something about ourselves that we hide from the world. A dirty little secret about yourself that you would allow a select few to share with.

As a drag queen, some of us may be fully out to everyone. I am sure however, that this group is a minority.

Imagine my surprise when a high school friend of mine asked me about my pictures on a high profile blog?
Let me clarify, She asked my BOY mode, about the pictures, as she apparently recognized me.

A little background on Lavida, I studied in a terrifyingly religious school that would crucify the very thought of someone crossdressing. My peer's social system was built around the church. Which added brownie points to popularity. Meaning, them holy bitches that act all purity, are actually the 'IT' girls in high school.

In the wise words of Bowling For Soup, High School Never Ends.

I did a search on this blog. And it was the top hit on google.

I am not going to disclose anymore information about the whole thing. It is sufficient to know that, we should be very careful with our digital footprints. Especially with our dirty little secrets.

Miss Lotus 2009 at Heaven's Door

2009-11-11T02:45:00.005+11:00

Wave my little wallabies. Wave.

Who knew Lady Lavida would end up at Heaven's door? I always thought Heaven won't take me and Hell's afraid I'll take over.

The night began with Miss Aida taking to the stage with the lovely Miss Kamira Holden.

The contestants were Miss Mercedez, Miss Gabby, Miss Gayzha, Miss Jessie, Miss Lil Kit and yours truly, Lady Lavida Loca.

Mercedez

Gayzha

Gabby
Lil Kit
Jess

And Your Lady Lavida!

The first round was Q&A about your home town and why are you choosing to be in Miss Lotus.
I submitted the question :" What changes will you make as Miss Lotus 09?"
I answered, firstly, I would change the title from 09, to 69. because that's a position worth having ;P"

Then I will promote Sex, and encourage people to have more sex by putting up posters that said "I put the STD in STUD, and all I need is U" *winks*
The crowd went nuts for these . It was a good start.

Miss Lil Kit and myself attempted a stand up comedy act. Talk about taking a risk.
I chose to do a Wanda Sykes impression. Honouring her comedy skit on Gay Marriage.

Gayzha's outfit for her dance was amazing!

Finally , it was an evening wear presentation. I showed off the dress I sewed on myself, which was topped off with a corset.

So Vote for the Lady ;) right here.
http://www.heavensdoor.com.au/lotus.html

Miss Lotus 2009

2009-11-03T16:01:00.000+11:00

Official Site

The Asian Drag Empress plans to expand her domain and claim the title Miss Lotus 09. It is meant for the oriental drag queens to compete.

What Do we think? Lavida Loca, Miss Lotus 2009.

It does have a ring to it.

The Prizes include over 6000 bucks worth of drag-treasures. I can only assume wigs and such?

This includes the grand prize of a return flight to Bangkok! Lavida Loves that.

The difficult part is that there are the Semi Finals and Finals.

The Semi Final Night includes 3 challenges.

Round 1

Each contestant represents their own country wearing the (National / ethnic costume / or an outfit that represents the country they represent).

Contestants will make a "gala entrance" from the upstairs dressing room, down the stairs to the stage and present themselves to the audience and judges. Each contestant will then be asked a question or 2 about their national pride, why they have entered and why the Lotus Awards are important. (Contestants can submit their own suggested Questions if they want - but BEFORE the night).

Round 2

(Might be split into 2 groups, depending on number of contestants).
Contestants change during break and make a 2nd "gala entrance" from the upstairs dressing room, down the stairs to the stage.Suggested costume is your favorite famous person (performer or film star etc).
Each Contestant can choose to either

Do a short performance number (max 3 1/2 minutes) of their chosen "star" or act out their "star" in a way that will entertain the audience) or
Answer a few questions about why they have chosen that "star". (again Contestants can submit their own suggested Questions if they want - but BEFORE the night).

We are looking for your talent either as a performer or in your personality and ability to entertain the audience.

Round 3

Contestants change during break and make a 3rd "gala entrance" from the upstairs dressing room, down the stairs to the stage. Suggested costume Formal or Glamorous Outfit.
Final question.

What a lot of shit to prepare! I'm about to explode from anticipation. I'm off to prepare myself for the battle royale.

Come along and Draaaag yourself here.

Facebook Event (RSVP here)

I've also attached the map for your convenience. 10pm 4th of November. seeya

The Halloween Party!

2009-11-02T10:36:00.000+11:00

Lovely Lavida has a surprise!

Peacock Lavida!

Birds of a feather, let's flock together! I'm right there going, "Holla BAck Girl!"
Do you Love the outfit or do you LOOOVE the outfit?
Hand sewn bitches ;D
as I have discussed in the last post. I am sooo glad it turned out as I wanted. And it was great for photo opp, but I didn't make full use of it as I was a lil too drunk.

The night was all black as shadows and blood red balloons. The horrors and whorers gathered in the victorian style bar to celebrate.

Just one of the ladies, acting all natural and flirty ;D

Me and My drag hag Rach Silver Swallow

The other drag queen, Mercedez as Poison Ivy. Although someone made a hilarious comment on how her costume reminded them of Endora, the mother in Bewitched.

Lavida shall now be the Vampire slayer!

I had so much wine, that I was later caught by this sexy bitch of a policewoman for a DUI. Dragging under influence.

How was your Halloween this year? who were the spooks and kooks?

How to sew a Halloween Dress

2009-10-30T06:16:00.000+11:00

Hello weaving wallabies,

Lavida is here to share with you the lovely art of customizing your own dress.

First, grab a sewing kit. I recommend getting those cheap ones from Safeway/Big W or even Reject shop. any one of them should be below 6 dollars. It looks something like this :

Then if you're a drag queen like myself,
grab some sequins, for that glittery effect.

Next, you thread the appropriate color (that matches your dress, so the threads are invisible and discreet.
For those wallowing wallabies that haven't got a clue. Don't worry, Lavida's feeling patient and kind. I'll provide a link for just how to sew?

Clickable Link=How To Sew

Once you have mastered that skill. Or at least discreet about your handicapped sewing ability. Buy some chiffon, puffy material stuff to make ...How shall I say it... puffs.

I bought the glittery shiny ones from Lincraft. Its pretty and cheap too. about 8 dollars a meter. Half a meter was enough for me.

Then, depending on your costume theme. Buy the appropriate props and what-nots. Can you guess what Lavida plans to be from the picture?

If you're lazy like me , make sure you have a glue gun, masking tape and super glue ready. So rather than sewing them on, for the correct pretty effect. You can opt to glue them messily, and there will be threads of dried glue everywhere.

But fear not! you can always say you were going for the ancient, spider webbed effect. Don't you just LOVE halloween!/? the perfect excuse to highlight all flaws!

Why I suppose you could even tell our enemies "HOW Ugly you look today!, my my, going all out aren't we?" and they wouldn't even have to be in a halloween mask.

Remember Wallababies, Halloween isn't just about the looks, its about the attitude.

Back to the arts and crafts, Next you would thread the sequins to the end of the thread, and use those in place of knots to keep the stitches nice and tight.
It also makes for a glam out fit.

So this is as far as I have gone with my little number. I'm not showing too much.
You'll have to get a better look AFTER halloween.

So to all my pretty bitches and witches, Have a Drag of a Halloween. take note, Creativity can always replace necessity (if you dont have it, create it). and Beauty is an attitude.

Lavida Loves.

Drag Show - Lavida Loca- Ugly Betty's Milkshake Remix.

2009-10-28T09:39:00.000+11:00

Oh my, I realise that Lady V might be contracting the Amnesia Virus.. or was it a syndrome? a state of mind? ... I forget.

Anyway, this was Lavida's very own Milkshake Mix mashup.

Kelis step aside, because my milkshake's more versatile than yours! that's right, it's better than yours,stuffed with tissue, and it's de-tach-a-ble. lalalalala~ strap it on.

Clap now! I can hear you through the Internet :)

Lavida loves Albanian singer- Blero

2009-10-26T09:16:00.001+11:00

During my travels to Albania! land of the Albinos. Lavida met this lovely young gentleman, who wasn't so gentle in bed...wootss~

This man goes by the name of Blero, and has since fallen in love with yours truly.
He then signed on a record with Duffy, and release a new hit in my name.

Awww, A love song for lil' ol' me?
I am truly touched.

like the Albanians say, "Ju e dini doni Lavida Loca, bitches"
huh, I thought there would be a way to say bitches in Albanian.

oh well, Lavida Loves you~

The Trailer - Chasing Harry Winston

2009-10-24T17:30:00.003+11:00

Here we go my little wallowing wallabies,

Lady Lavida's trailer, starring as Erica within this spoof. But the actual character in the book is named Adriana for all you chic lit buffs out there.

It was a terribly fun shoot, and being at the beach in drag was definitely a whole new experience

the scene at the end where I was teaching Ms.clueless how to flirt, was soooo windy, my wig damn near flew off into the blue yonder!

The male voice at the beginning that said "we need to talk" - was mine! LOL! I inherited that deep voice from my parent you see - My mom.

Loves it!''

Next post coming soon. Lady V joins a pageant!!!???

Presidential Votes

2009-10-22T09:32:00.000+11:00

I should have voted Hedda Lettuce as President.

I wouldn't mind being the Ministress of Partying. Parties that provide tons of alcohol, creating joy and mirth that shall solve world hunger, world poverty and worldwide boredom. Parties make people excited, they shop more, buying one outfit, then changing their minds, and then going out to get several other options, just in case, thus saving the economy.

I pledge to host a theme party every week, drawing attention to social issues. I will host parties such as "AIDSness party!" and we can all dress up in anything to do with AIDS, like gays, hot nurses, black men on the down-low and hang torn bloody condoms as earrings.

I will also host a Marijuana legalization party. Weed cake and Pot Inhalers for all who come early! *Weed salad provided for the vegans.
We have recently perfected marijuana flavored milk for busy parents who still want to party! Get your noisy baby to chill out with this medicinal marvel. Your baby will be fucking flying with the lullaby light show we provide at the party lounge.

But remember not to drag and drive.

You know you Love it!

Lavida Wants Games

2009-10-20T09:51:00.003+11:00

Here's a special secret.

Lavida loves games!.. and not just the type you play in the bedroom.
I am a fan of Miss Jessica of Jessica-Who.com, she is a great crossdressing blogger whom shares the interests and joys of mine.

I found out about her post on a new game called Scribblenaut

A game that lets you solve the levels by creating anything out of thin air just by spelling it out.
It is modern day Sorcery I tell you! I bet you Harry Potter couldn't apparate everything!

she even showed a video of how she got her game character to cross dress. so cute!

I wonder if it would work to type, wedding dress and elephant. How fun! I want to try!!! I am so going to the nintendo store tomorrow!

On the comments of Jessica's post, came a mention about another game called - LittleBigPlanet.

A collectively constructed 3-d environment where you can play with everything. I am not sure how it works, but it does remind me of The Sims. The key difference is that it is accurate in terms of physics. balls roll correctly, gravity and elasticity work properly. And they give you the tools to create anything you want within the game.
The videos make it much clearer.

The Cullen Family? Edward Cullen from Twilight? Is that chuuu?
The "PLay With EVERYTHIIING" diddy is hilarious!

To create your own sack boy/girl/drag. this is the helpful littlebig link.
http://mysackboy.littlebigplanet.com/

A little Lavida would look like this.

I'd prefer a prettier model base though, with longer legs and shapely body. But guess you can't have "EVERYTHIIING~". LOL.

3 News > Video > World > Drag queen floors thugs in British street fight

2009-10-19T04:10:00.000+11:00

Boys who think they've got big toys, Be careful when you're thinking about messing up with a drag queen. You never know if they can kick your lily ass to kingdom come.

This is the news about two drag queens who were attacked in the town called swansea. They then revealed that they were professional cage fighters when they delivered swift uppercuts to their harasser.

Watch it here

3 News > Video > World > Drag queen floors thugs in British street fight

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Chun Li step aside, we've got girls who can pack the real punches

Hey Big Spender, Lavida's Performance

2009-10-13T23:05:00.000+11:00

After all your whining, crying and sighing... Lavida has finally answered your prayers in her true-to-goddess way.

Fasten your seat belts and put your chair in the upright position~

Here is that long awaited First Performance from the AsianTreasure night - Hey Big Spender by Shirley Bassey.

I personally have not seen my own performance till right this moment. I am gushing right to my tucking panties :D

That last move where I throw out my drag dollars was such a genius move! Credits to my Drag Hag - Sammie Wallaby for suggesting the idea.

Do you love it? Or do you just LOVE IT!

Stay tuned for the next performance.
Lavida ROCKS!

Keywords and Amnesia Sparkles!

2009-10-11T23:39:00.000+11:00

Seriously guys, What on earth are you guys thinking when you're searching for me?
Well, my blog spybot tells me that you guys have been naughty wallabies.

For example, take today's search. Those are my keywords? even theoretical sites like Monkey'sVomit.com (hmm I wonder if it's real) has better keyword search success!

Asian drag is alright, and ladyboy.blogspot is ok; but Drag Queen Oral?! Crossdressers Bladder Control? who searches for this kind of things?

Whoever searched for Models in sheer glyde dams must be one horny dog!

http://freekeywords.wordtracker.com/ has a better option for searches

Look at the top ten keywords related to Drag

drag

11,244 searches (top 100 only)
Searches	Keyword

1196	drag racer v3
688	drag me to hell
641	drag queen
641	drag racing
504	drag racing games
348	drag specialties
292	free drag racing games
283	drag cars
252	drag racing videos
250	men in drag

You blundering wallabies best learn how to do proper searches~

Hahah I love Drag me to hell,

Drag Queen Me To Hell!

Or how about a Hell of a Drag Queen?
Lavida Discovers Amnesia Sparkles!
Lavida Loves Her!

Lavida must must do a photoshoot like that! IT is sooo Fabuloussss. FuckingAssBulous!
Amnesia, lets have pretty Eurasian drag babies together!

Lavida's Fashion Passion

2009-10-10T05:10:00.007+11:00

Everyone knows how Lavida has an innate talent for beauty and grace.
In the words of Miss Vida Boheme, Ala 'To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything. Julie Newmar'; "A drag queen is one who just has too much fashion sense for both genders"

Now, Lavida's gone and focus that power into dressing other girls.
Besides spreading Dragatitis! (the new and improved drag version of Hepatitis), Lavida also aims to spread beauty to all my girls and half-girls, half-man, ham sandwich, whatever-you-will out there!

My darling darling child is the PrimandPoppers blog.

Miss Popper's Diary Collection

Miss Popper's Diary Collection
@
www.primandpoppers.blogspot.com

As you can see, my sweet little wallaby here has contracted some Dragatitis from the Lady V. You can tell from the symptoms such as 'fake eyelashes and heavy eye shadow'.

I know you'd love to contract my disease ;)

This is just a new launch. Me and the Dragatitans are working on dressing it up more.
Best check it once in a while, You never know if Lady V might enter her own designs and creation into it.

Yes, Lady V can also design! What do you expect from a talented creature such as I? tee hee *

If you look closely, You'll notice it is incredibly similar to my performance 'trashbag skirt!'

Now that's a fashion statement!

Head Over to the
www.primandpoppers.blogspot.com
NOW.

From Michael to Megan

2009-10-07T09:40:00.000+11:00

I simply stumbled upon this dear during my rounds in the cyber queendom.
a Male to Female Transexual.
Her name is Megan Wallent. Her story, is not something you'd see just anywhere.

MEGAN WALLENT"S PICTURE STORY
http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/popup?id=4395571&contentIndex=1&page=8&start=false

Shared via AddThis

I think her story is very inspiring. I hate it when I looked through the comment page of her picture blog, and find all this insulting critics with the narrow mind of a rat's ass!

I mean, sure she has a wife and kids; but that just means she has someone to love and to love her. That kind of critical thinking is what made her afraid to come out in the first place. Let people be themselves for peace's sake.

I also dislike the media's reference of her
NIGHTLINE: The Transgender Exec.
http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerIndex?id=4402130

WHat is that? Is it the fact that transgenders have a job that is so shocking? or that she has actually kept her job at Microsoft?

Maybe they should just go on with a whole set of this news. The transgender teacher! The transgender nun! the transgender bouncer! the transgender dominatrix lesbian!

Damn the media!

Lavida on a roll~

Homecoming Queen!

2009-10-06T16:17:00.000+11:00

I have always dreamed that I would take the stage, in a beautiful shimmering pearl silk dress. A glittering tiara casting a glow all over my skin. I would rise gracefully on stage and be hailed as
THE HOMECOMING QUEEN!

I guess if i can't have that dream, I should at least congratulate someone who has -

Mr Ryan Allen of the George Mason University.
George Mason Picks Drag Queen as Homecoming Queen - ABC News

Shared via AddThis

This must mean Crossdressing / Dragging is going Mainstream! Yay!
And I am your willing guide into that world, my wallabies :)

Kisses & Misses
Lavida

La Vida Loca 2008

2009-10-05T09:02:00.000+11:00

If you google Lavida Loca
I am unfortunately not the first website that pops out :(

Hedda Lettuce

2009-10-04T09:00:00.000+11:00

Lavida pays tribute to the great Hedda Lettuce. She definitely hits a note with me with her all green aura, or outfit if you Must be so specific.

I remember her from Project Runway , on the episode where they had a drag queen outfit design competition.

I've come to realize that the truly memorable drag queens have taken a signature color for themselves.

Dame Edna Everage : Purple

Hedda Lettuce : Green

Ru Paul : Black

Hahha, okay, so maybe I'm merely referring to her skin color thing, but don't get me wrong honeys, I'm not being racist. I too, am a woman of color.....

.....Which I think should be Red

Since it is so typically Asian.

all I need now is a full head of fiery red hair.

I can go with the whole "Seeing red" angle. You know, Loca = crazy. Red = blood.

Or perhaps, Lady of the Red Lantern district! I am known for being a bit on the Slutty side.

I believe i have all the qualities that made Hedda Lettuce famous. Pump it up sisters. You Better Work!

Lavida Loves.

Word Of The Day : Ki Ki

2009-10-03T09:44:00.000+10:00

Lavida Becomes a Teacher!

As many of you know, Lavida drags/crossdresses for educational purposes.
As part of the board of educational drag Queens, I hereby decree a royal lesson for you.

Ki Ki

def: When two drag queen have sex (hook up) with each other.

Pronounced : "Kai Kai"

Example : "Girl, I saw Ophelia Booby and Virginia Amnot leaving after the show together. I bet there is some scary ass ki ki action going on in that house. uh-uh, sister, that is just wrong and you know it."

Ok so I might have jazzed the example up a bit, But you know how we girls speak in the hood. Like Jenny from the Block! We know how to rock, Yo shakers, fakers; Don't know how tuh talk!

I'm currently searching for pictures of two drag queens kissing to illustrate what is a Ki Ki. But to my surprise. No such pictures exist! hmm, it's a rarer idea than I thought.

Reader Challenge! Find an image that you consider as Ki Ki and post it in the comments!

Last Day on Earth - Softer Lavida

2009-10-02T10:59:00.003+10:00

Song lyrics | The Last Day On Earth lyrics

This song has some how brought out the motherly side of me. Making me all soft and marshmallowie

Most of you might know this as the song from Neighbours.

For me, this is the current song I want for my funeral.

I want black ballerina's to emote in a circle

Please wear large Black fascinators with veils.

This is an Example:

For the Ambitious, you may try this

Still, It is a funeral, so be respectful and do not try to top my custom-made floor length gown with the gossamer train in the bejeweled casket

Ladyboy Dating

2009-10-01T09:14:00.002+10:00

Omg! I don't know why I find this so hilarious and disturbing at the same time.
Perhaps it is the sexual objectification of a transexual person that disturbs me.

I wonder if they have similar sites for a pre-op or post-op Female to Male transsexuals.
That would be interesting. Visually male, but with a gaping vagina. Don't think girls will be into it.

Anyway, before you start thinking Lavida has dropped brains and her chicken fillet breastforms to sign up for this website, I merely stumbled upon this thing whilst exploring the Google Friend Connect app on the right side bar.

One of this ladyboy is affiliated with this website. Which led to me discovering this site. Oh well, i shall link it anyway, in case you Tranny Traders out there find my blog. It is still an absolutely interesting website I must say.

http://ladyboymeeting.ning.com/

I found this Korean news bit on Transsexuals. I don't know what it's talking about but I guess it's about plastic surgery and thai T-girls. The last T-girl is sooo pretty! She's like a celebrity.

I shall draw on this site's topics for some inspiration as well, It has fun forum topics like

What makes having a long term relationship with a tranny so difficult?

HAhahha! It feels like the start of a joke. Let me take a crack at it.

It's because to they rather 'transition' quickly.

A woman needs a penis but the tranny has her own.

They have the body of a woman, but they think like a man. Fear of commitment.

Ok, I'd better stop before I offend Everybody. But you know you're Drag empress loves to jest ;)

Breaking Down Love Machine

2009-09-30T09:10:00.002+10:00

A while ago, Lavida partied Sex and the City style. Four Independent Women, taking control of our lives.

The girls and I filled our flutes and champagne glasses with bubbly and screwdrivers. We had so much that we were ready to Screw Drivers. Chaffeurs, Pilots, Captains. Any driver.

Then we went to the photobooth on an Imac.

How crazy punch drunk sexy were we?

We ended up waiting for an HOUR to get into Love Machine. yeah that's how packed it was that night. I honestly almost pissed myself waiting for the penishead bouncers to let us in.

How can they deny, four sexy ladies, living in Melbourne city, taking control of their lives. To almost lose bladder control?

When we finally got in. I met my black mister sister. Mercedez.

Take note wallabies, Lady Lavida was drunk to the max at this moment. (I have no idea when I got the habit of referring to myself in the third person)

Anyway, That picture up there. I have no memory taking it. Its like twilight zone meets the pretender. I might have a Doppelganger! (look up the dictionary if you don't know what this means, bitches. Dumber than a drag queen are you?)

Anyway, the rest of the 2 hours was a blur. The next thing I remember was coming out of the toilet with two girls on each of my arm, supporting my walk. Then a bouncer tells me he needs to talk to me and to follow him downstairs.

Apparently, my faithful drag hags followed me downstairs. The bouncers then proceed to SHOVE US OUT THE CLUB!

WTF? I was so angry! I didn't even do anything wrong! I was like
"Excuse me, Why did you kick us out? we didn't do anything wrong. We're not even that drunk!"

Bloody bastard bouncer: " Its nothing personal ok, we're just doing our job"

I was like "What do you mean? You'd better just let us back in alright."

He then pointed faraway and said "Just get going. Just leave you're no allowed to stay here."

at this point, Lavida got PISSED: " What the hell! You can't do this ok! I know your owner! I'm going to Get You FIRED!"

He goes :" Go ahead, I'm not scared of you."

I then turned to my drag hags and said "Take your camera out! I want to take a photo of this ass!"

I turn back

"I'm going to get you FIRED! Urrgh!!"

"just go ahead"

"You know what, I don't even care about going in anymore!"

I then proceeded to lift my skirts and flashed my butt-in-pantyhose at him, going
"~Nyeh-nyeh-Nyeh-nyeh-nyeh~~"

Shaking my lovely lady hump at him.

Then we all got in the taxi and went home.

The thing is, Everything from the toilet onwards was a retelling by my draghag. I had no memory whatsoever of the rest.

Lavida is such a feisty bitch! you love it!

Drag Toilet Photoshoot

2009-09-28T09:11:00.001+10:00

After filming, I met up with my Drag hag -Pinktoe and her friend for lunch.

In the famous words of Little Britain: "Just a lady having a cup of tea" and 4$ Pizzas
I'd prefer to keep this secret alley bar, a secret just that little bit longer. None of you beeyotches better be crowding up in my space!

Anyway. We went to the toilet , and found this strange light. It was...

My Goddess Aura!

LoL, kidding, it was the backlighting of the toilet.

Having recently watched ANTM cycle 12, I was overcomed by a modelling fit! I kicked up my platforms and climbed on the toilet bowl.

With my super SMEYES power, 'Smile with your Eyes', I can turn out a fierce photo!

I know Lady Lavida is in the Voluptuous category. Just wait till I take up anorexia!

Then I'll give you skinny bitches with the failed faces a run for your money.

Would you dare take a picture on top of the toilet bowl if you think it could be fashion edgy?
I encourage all girls out there to do so!

Chasing Harry Winston

2009-09-27T02:35:00.004+10:00

As y'all know, Lavida is also an Actress, Just completed my first scene for the trailer of Chasing Harry Winston.

For those of you guys who are clueless, Chasing Harry Winston is written by the same Author who wrote The Devil Wears Prada.

Now I'm getting some oohs and Ahhs, I can practically hear it through the web darlings.

From AMAZON.COM
Product Description
The bestselling author of The Devil Wears Prada and Everyone Worth Knowing returns with the story of three best friends who vow to change their entire lives...and change them fast.
Emmy is newly single, and not by choice. She was this close to the ring and the baby she's wanted her whole life when her boyfriend left her for his twenty-three-year-old personal trainer -- whose fees are paid by Emmy. With her plans for the perfect white wedding in the trash, Emmy is now ordering takeout for one. Her friends insist an around-the-world sex-fueled adventure will solve all her problems -- could they be right?
Leigh, a young star in the publishing business, is within striking distance of landing her dream job as senior editor and marrying her dream guy. And to top it all off, she has just purchased her dream apartment. Only when Leigh begins to edit the enfant terrible of the literary world, the brilliant and brooding Jesse Chapman, does she start to notice some cracks in her perfect life...
Adriana is the drop-dead-gorgeous daughter of a famous supermodel. She possesses the kind of feminine wiles made only in Brazil, and she never hesitates to use them. But she's about to turn thirty and -- as her mother keeps reminding her -- she won't have her pick of the men forever. Everyone knows beauty is ephemeral and there's always someone younger and prettier right around the corner. Suddenly she's wondering...does Mother know best?
These three very different girls have been best friends for a decade in the greatest city on earth. As they near thirty, they're looking toward their future...but despite all they've earned -- first-class travel, career promotions, invites to all the right parties, and luxuries small and large -- they're not quite sure they like what they see...
One Saturday night at the Waverly Inn, Adriana and Emmy make a pact: within a single year, each will drastically change her life. Leigh watches from the sidelines, not making any promises, but she'll soon discover she has the most to lose. Their friendship is forever, but everything else is on the table. Three best friends. Two resolutions. One year to pull it off.

Guess Who Lavida plays?

Adriana!!! ahahha the drop dead gorgeous daughter of a famous Supermodel!
I will be doing one more scene next week, and we should have the trailer playing soon :)

You Love Lavida*

America's Next Top Model Cycle 12

2009-09-23T01:34:00.003+10:00

Cycle 12 of America's Next Top Model has 2 girls that Lavida Loves from the beginning of the season.
Celia - the classy fashionista with the strongest sense of personal style.

such strength in her eyes.

As everyone knows, Lady Lavida is a classy drag and she can appreciate a sister with a certain air. Lavida loves her pearl earrings.
Therefore, Lavida has pierced her ears! A tribute to Celia's stylishness.

Lavida's second love is this Deer in the headlights - Allison

She's a freak of nature. Her eyes could just swallow you whole. As a drag queen, we strive to create eyes like that with tons of make up, fake eyelashes, glitter, eye brow lift and contact lens.
This bitch was born with it.
Look at her youth, vulnerability. Like a baby bird caught in her nest.

Hmm, Lavida is so inspired by ANTM. She's planning to join Cycle 13 which feature girls under 5 feet 7. Yes, Lady Lavida is a petite model.

Who's your favourite model?

Lavida Loves Jeffrey

2009-09-21T09:25:00.000+10:00

Lavida really loves Jeffrey.
But not Jeffrey the sociopathic loser who lives down the corner of Peel and Wellington street.
I love Jeffrey the movie!

Not only is it written with such finesse. This movie is an example of one of the first that breaks the third wall. Acknowledgment of the audience and speaking directly to the camera. The critique of traditional film models

There is a truckload of really amazing celebrities. This is one film where all of them work together to make this really great film.

This gay film is about a promiscuous man who finally stops having sex because he is afraid of contracting the HIV virus. He then meets the man of his dreams who just happens to be....you get it.. HIV positive!
drama drama everywhere!

Lavida Loves it.

For the curious wallabies
Jeffrey Wiki

Engrish.com

2009-09-20T09:29:00.000+10:00

My Favourites from Engrish.com

So many kinds of hard action, which to choose?

Slutty Potpourri

Lavida's Manicure set.

Eat the Meat

2009-09-18T09:36:00.001+10:00

A Lady should practice the etiquette of fine dining. Chewing with your mouth closed, delicately working through your meal while keeping a demure posture throughout.

Well...I'm not a real lady. That's why Lavida charges into a fine piece of steak with the ferocity of ten wild cats. WooohoO!

Lavida loves a good piece of steak. In fact, one of my favorite places in Melbourne, is Universal Pizza's on Lygon Street. Granted it's not the ideal fine dining setting. But where else can you get a steak for only 13.90 AUSD?

mmm.. Just look at that succulent, juicy, suggestive piece of grilled perfection? I'm great friends with the chef, so he's custom made this steak for me into a phallic form.
Talk about Oral fixation.

For the higher class, fur-wearing,branded purse wielding bore-bags out there, The Point at Albert Park is a beautiful steakhouse with a smorgasbord of culinary equivalents of orgasms. Wagyu beef...YUM.

http://www.thepointalbertpark.com.au/

Kimono

2009-09-17T14:15:00.000+10:00

Have a look at my previous post on my performance, You'll see that Dee Dee Dazzler is wearing this drop dead gorgeous kimono.

Lavida wants one!

Lavida found one...

Lavida can't afford one.

braaaaaaa~

700 Aussie Dollars.

Lavida has to dance her panties off before she can get one.

But by then, whats the point of getting it?

I find it hard to constrain my draggery to simply be flaunted in shows.

I think it's beginning to leak everywhere! like a leaky pad! heavy flow!!!

Girls,Don't you hate it when you're shopping for an outfit for a particular event, and you end up buying SEVERAL outfits? all for the same event.

How financially unwise is that? So if there's a rich and generous fan out there.

DO NOT hesitate to buy me that Kimono. It is available next to the Lincraft store on Collins, on the top floor.

Hands off bitches< It's mine.

Performance at Asian Treasure@Chasers

2009-09-15T09:29:00.003+10:00

This was my own event poster I made for myself.

Loves. It.

Last Thursday was the date of my first stage performance as well as my first time dragging to CLASS!

However, let's just concentrate on the pictures that are available now.

Chasers has an absolutely beautiful interior; furnished with luxurious satins, chandeliers and wall-sized mirrors. I arrived with a large entourage of 8 girls. The club begins to warm up with attendees.
Dee Dee Dazzler and Venus Envy is already at the bar looking gorgeous and dolled up.
I get a tour of the club by the organizer of Asian Treasure nights - Andy.

Dee Dee- Hostess with the Mostess

There's a second stage through the first door which is humongous! One day Lavida shall storm that stage as well :) I head to the changing room and add my two large travel bags to the sizeable collection of drag luggage, surely filled with glitters and wigs to the brim.

My number was Hey Big Spender - Shirley Bassey. Garbed in a traditional red Cheong Sam, a laurel tiara, a black feather boa and holding a large red fan. I ruled the stage as I threw my feather boa off to accent the beat. There was a lot of sashays and shantes before I finished off with and toss of Lavida Money!

My second number was Milkshake! Wearing a rabbit fur jacket, blue glitter Charleston dress and trashbag skirt. I started off with a special edit ;P and then into the remix of I'm a slave of you + Milkshake mashup. it was hot thrusting and hip shaking for me. Throwing off the fur jacket and then slipping off the trash skirt in the middle was my way of expressing "coming out"

The night was filled with fun, friends and poofery! what more could you ask for? Oh and there were so many asian hotties that night. Where have they all been hiding!? come out come out again!

Loves Lavida~

Justin Hartley heartley

2009-09-14T09:52:00.000+10:00

my vote for Sexiest Man Alive 2009!

Justin Hartley!!

Talk about a hotness monster. This man is also a Superhero! apparently known as the Green Arrow on Smallville....(imagines Tom Welling and Justin Hartley) yum. He is quoted as being gay-friendly too from DNA magazine :)

I can just look at his pictures all day.
Or maybe, just tie him up and watch him flex his muscles as he tries to escape from Lavida.

MUAhahahahaa!

Try and run Justin. Try and run.

Drag Queen To The Zoo Video

2009-09-12T21:19:00.000+10:00

Finally I've Completed my editing,and uploaded my Zoo video to YouTube here's and embedded version form my lazy wallabies.

It's got some of my best captured moments to date! Lavida is going to be bigger than Ru Paul or Dame Edna some day. Some day~~

Remember kids, i drag for educational purposes. So all this will contribute to my understanding of how the world perceives and receives drag queens and transgenders.

So please do comment on the videos. Give me your thoughts on all of this and feel free to even suggest new places to drag to!

"To Drag Where No Drags Have Ever Dragged Before!"
Lavida Loca - she gone loco.

Fashion Loves Make Up

2009-09-10T09:05:00.000+10:00

Everyone knows how the Lady is also a Mistress of Make Up.

Creating an illusion is the core of every Drag Queens' being. And remember, I am now a Drag EMPRESS! Therefore, by definition. I can also pass on my make up magic unto others!
I am like the Pinocchio's Blue Fairy of drag. She turns wooden puppets into real boys. I turn manhood into wood.
AND
I also turn people into real models!

Earth! Wind! Water! Fire! Glitter!
By My Powers combined, I am Campy Planet!

TRANSFORM!

~!~

bibbity babbity Poofery!

My latest creation~

I shall soon create a make up tutorial video. I know everybody does it. But this is THE drag empress. useful digestive tips from me is like a meal congested in the intestines from other video tutorials.
See how that makes you prefer me.
I'm the best.

Lavida the diva.
Loves!~

Dragalation: Camberwell market

2009-09-09T08:48:00.000+10:00

Guess where Lavida lands herself this time?

The Sunday Camberwell Market. It is now called Camp-berwell.

I had a film crew following me for the most part. Paparazzis just won't leave me the hell alone! LOL.
Alright, fine, so it was more about their film project on drag queens. Still, I'm sure they partially wanted to capture my star quality on film.:)

I was there with my Drag-Hags (the new fag hags), shopping up a storm when this Crazy! old man walked right into my side and pressed himself against me whilst I was on the phone! How stalker mad is that?

He whispered in a low Nightmare-on-Elm-Street-Exorcist-Urban-Legends tone : "~~ you arrrrh a BOY!~~~"

ARRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

I screamed into the night.

They caught it all on film! but you will not see the dark midnight setting from my imagination. However, you will see the Exorcist's nightmare man. I am waiting on the film.

meanwhile, Me and the gang are back to shopping around, I seriously recommend all Drag and trannies and the rest of the Falling Pants Sisterhood to shop there. They have our sizes!

WishList alert! Lavida would loove this adjustable mannequin for alterations on drag-unfriendly outfits.

On my travels there, I also spotted another Drag Queen....

~~~~~~

Blue Eyeshadow is soo 80's, my shaggy sister.

All in all, It was an amazing trip. Fascinators, Heels, Handbags and Perfume bottles. This lady is a very satisfied shopper.

Another daring dragging by your drag empress

Lavida Loca.

Aussiebum

2009-09-04T14:13:00.000+10:00

I sometimes forget that I currently live in the land of the idolized 'surferdudes'
Girls the world over dream of that hot steamy sun kissed Aussiebum that will rise from the waves and sweep her off her sandy feet. They then proceed to have sex on the beach... then they put down those cocktail glasses...and have a quick fuck!

and then put down those shot glasses too and head into the massage room where he works out those tight knots just right between the shoulder blades.

It is truly heaven.

To complete my fantasy, he then lays on top of me...and melts into chocolate. Yum.

Thai Club

2009-09-03T09:23:00.001+10:00

Guess where Lavida crashed?

The Thai night at Toy.
It was a loud and crowded club with everyone screaming at the top of their lungs over the bass booming out of the speakers.

I was there with my Thai girls, just being one of the girls. Guess which is the drag queen?

My friend just commented that I look so sophisticated and dressy. Its not that my girls here are not beautiful, it was just the Thai culture that tips in favor of a casual attire. I am, at the end of the day, a Drag queen. I WAS in casual. lol.

The thing I love about my androgynous beauty is that I can totally fly under the radar when needed. A convincing female impersonator is always safer than a lousy one. One can avoid drag-bashing in an incredibly drunk crowd.

However, it has its down sides... three guys approached me and wanted to bring me home. then my girls told them I was a drag queen .
In thai they call it "Katuay!" Say it with me now " Kerrr- Tuay!"
And they were even more enthusiastic, forgoing the niceties given to real girls. They started to caress my arms and pinned me to the wall. I honestly thought I was going to get raped that night. I had to just scream and run away like a girl... or at least, a convincing girl ;)

Cunning Linguist! Lavida Rocks!

Dorian Gray

2009-09-02T09:40:00.002+10:00

I've loved Ben Barnes ever since his piercing stare met my own beautiful green eyes across the street. I was wearing a gorgeous purple dress that was backless and ethereal. His hair was in the wind, his hand gripping a silver sword and wearing a pectoral defining suit of armor. He was huge. Frozen on the billboard of Melbourne Central. The title 'Prince Caspian' gleamed in the spotlight.

It is no mistake that they would pick him to be casted in this story. A story about a gay painter wishing to immortalize the male beauty of this handsome strapping young lad, and somehow immortalizing him in reality. The gift of immortality. All your aging and scars goes to the painting whilst your beauty remains forever.

Lavida wants it! SO all of you artistic wallabies get cracking! immortalize Mama Lavida now!

Movie Review: One Fine Day

2009-09-01T09:22:00.000+10:00

On a movie watching marathon nowadays.

The last time I went to Movie box (my haven of rented dvds), I rented 6 rom-coms. The most outstanding for me being One Fine Day.

With Michelle Pfeiffer and George Clooney at the helm of the cast, it was a really well written story. Released on 1996, I had my doubts when looking at the cover. It just seemed soo....Ordinary.. none of the glitz and glamour a drag queen is attracted to.

They should have made Michelle Pfeiffer do that whole Stardust witch thing on the cover, with George Clooney caught between her breasts...lol. Perhaps that isn't what they were going for.

My Drag-hag convinced me to rent it though. Lo and behold, twas a beautiful family style comedy, fit to warm the hearts of many. Two Single parents whose kids are classmates at a preschool, meet on one fine ...Disastrous...day and fall in love. In one single day! How can that not be something to watch?

The IMBD link for my curious wallabies :http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0117247/

Definitely a must watch for you hopeless romantics out there.

Lavida wants to fall in love.
fairy wings ~

Proper facial contouring

2009-09-01T08:50:00.002+10:00

Oh My Godiva. Have I been skipping my make up steps?
This is another example of what a drag queen goes through before we complete the look. It truly is an art that I am yet to master.

Comedienne

2009-08-28T00:00:00.001+10:00

When I Grow Up, I wanna be a star, I wanna be rich, I wanna be famous~

and I'll do it by spreading drag-atitis! or laughter.

Yo mama so fat, when she steps on a dollar, she gets a hundred cents.

Yo mama so stupid, when she puts those coins in the parking meter, she asks "where's my gumball?"

Yo mama's ass soo big, when she bends over to look for them gumballs, she got more crack then a drug dealer.

Woohoo! Triple Threat y'all!

Anyway, I don't mean to insult yo mama. I just wanted to tell you a story.

The other day, my girlfriend came over.

She asked me to take off her sexy top.

then she asked me to take off her short,short skirt.

and then she told me:
"stop wearing my clothes!"

I can so work this gig.

Ooh Lala, I want a Vizelia

2009-08-27T00:00:00.001+10:00

I'm not sure if it is available for private home use, but a girl can dream can't she?

Imagine such a system installed in your own home? You never have to stand up again.
If I could install one in a club.

(+) Hot Guys
CLICK, HOLD, DRAG CLOSER

(DEL) Ugly boys & Old men

(COPY+PASTE) Shots and Long Island Tea

(SHIFT) Female competition

(CONTROL) Music selection

(ENTER) repeatedly ;)

Women Language

2009-08-26T00:00:00.001+10:00

Do you speak Venusian?
Well I do.

Let Lavida break it down for the clueless.

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

Aren't you glad Lavida speaks fluent Venusian?

This is a Public Service message.

2009-08-25T02:00:00.000+10:00

Lavida feels that she must contribute to society as an upstanding divinity.

Therefore I have created this advertisement for my frisky wallabies who like to give or receive BJs.

Yes, Oral sex is risky as well. Perhaps getting some sheer glyde dams isn't such a bad idea...

So remember children, putting on two layers of condoms makes it tear

and Spit! don't swallow.

Facebook Danger

2009-08-23T10:40:00.029+10:00

Once again, you are here with Lavida. You know you can't resist my charms ;D

As I have said many times before (but you just weren't listening!), I drag for educational purposes.
So I have an important lessons to teach you wallabies.

Don't put up any insults, threats or complaints onto your facebook status unless they're veiled, masked and inferential. In other words. let's leave direct assaults to wrestlers.

Let me present to you a clear cut case of badly-placed complaint. A girl had forgotten that she had her boss as a 'friend' on Facebook (we all know its just ass kissing). She then expressed her colourful vocabulary about her boss on her Facebook Status.

Let us take a look at Exhibit A.

Awww. Poor girl. She flattered herself.
And Mr Boss, we queens don't prance about. ---- We glide.

So hope you all learn from this example. People are always watching. So we must keep a close watch on what we are showing the world.

As a drag queen, regality, poise, beauty, personality, color, desirability, impressiveness are all things that i was born with. Sadly, that is not you're case. So please do work on show your glitter to the world my wallabies.

Perhaps one day, some of you may become a true drag wallaby.

*hand does screw lightbulb motion*
Be merry my children - Lavida Loves

Brand New Breasts!

2009-08-22T18:05:00.001+10:00

Shante my darling wallabies!

Mama has just received her brand new breasts! flown in from Canada!
Who needs plastic surgery when they can hang au naturale

They are soft as a baby's bottom. Tender fillets. (PS, my clueless boys out there, girls wear silicon bras which are called CHICKEN FILLETS, cuz they look like that. duh. They do not wear RAW chicken meat on their breasts!)
Back to my detachable breasts~
The nipples are permanently pert, The straps are detachable in the center, the back, and even at the shoulders. Straps are clear PVC. Washable and non stick. So you need to wear a bra or leave the straps on.

Sure they are also meant for breast cancer patients who've undergone Mastectomy. But the seller's realized a whole new market in the Mister Sisters department :D

So If any of you preening wallabies wish to sprout a pair of boobilicious. This is Lavida's recommended store. EBAY!
http://shop.ebay.com.au/lebeauty888/m.html

Thousand-Hand Guan Yin

2009-08-22T11:00:00.002+10:00

I mentioned the transexual chinese goddess Guan Yin, (ok she's not a transexual but indeterminate sex), in one of my recent posts. If you wallabies have been listening at all.

I recently received a chain email (oh how Lavida despises thee) that includes this beautiful find.

A rare email that I actually find interesting.

Considering the tight coordination required, their accomplishment is nothing short of amazing, even if they were not all deaf. Yes, you read correctly. All 21 of the dancers are complete deaf-mutes. Relying only on signals from trainers at the four corners of the stage, these extraordinary dancers deliver a visual spectacle that is both intricate and stirring.

Who knew deaf-mutes could be so coordinated.

Why can't deaf-Mutes just be deaf only? I thought Helen Keller pioneered the finger in mouth technique. For you clueless wallabies out there who have no idea what I am talking about.

Helen Keller was born a blind and deaf person .......
Ah Fuck it, just go to the wiki - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helen_Keller

Anyway, Lavida Loca shall ascend now~ The Goddess with a thousand cocktails in each hand blesses you :)

Preclub Video and Table, Forks and Spoons

2009-08-21T19:50:00.003+10:00

New Video!!! I have to build anticipation by only releasing the Preclubbing video...
(that and my editing takes time alright, you wild Wallabies!)

Something Lavida found whilst in Chinatown
A sign in the toilet

You would think their customers are retarded or something. Like how many times has this happened that they have to make a warning sign.

Or maybe, they have really reallly REALLY lazy dishwashers.

Sheer Glyde Vagina Sheets!

2009-08-20T18:00:00.000+10:00

Today Lavida discovered

SHEER GLYDE DAMS

SHEER GLYDE dams are a silky thin 25cm x 15 cm (10 inches x 6 inches) latex sheet especially designed as a barrier for use during oral sex (cunnilingus - oral vaginal sex, or rimming - oral/anal sex).

DAMNsss!

Importance of safe oral sex
Most men and women do not understand the risk they may be exposing themselves to when engaging in unprotected oral sex. During oral sex, unless a barrier product is used, many infections can be transmitted, including genital herpes, chlamydia, syphilis, gonorrhoea and AIDS. SHEER GLYDE dams, when properly used, help reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
Have fun with coloured, flavoured dams
Our remarkable superior quality SHEER GLYDE dams are available in a variety of fun and fruity colours and flavours including creme/vanilla, pink/strawberry, purple/wildberry and black/cola. Many users also like to use GLYDE Ultra personal lubricant with SHEER GLYDE dams.

So I guess these are like Oral condoms. How interesting. Has anyone tried these before?

Sometimes, it feels like we should just create our own body condom. Wrap your partner up in cling wrap. Poke breathing holes for nostrils. If cling wrap tears...simply use cellophane tape to repair.

(warning! following these instructions may lead to severe health problems such as HIV, AIDS, SYPHILLIS, DEATH and worst of all...PREGNANCY!)

Lavida Loves.

Buddhadrag

2009-08-20T11:38:00.000+10:00

This is what I'd imagine Buddha to be if he were a drag queen.

Beautiful isn't she. She has Buddha's ethereal quality, and a drag queen's penchant for glitter!

On a side note, did you know that the Chinese Goddess of Mercy, Guan Yin/Quan Yin, is technically a transexual?!

....was originally depicted as Buddha when he was still a prince, and therefore wears chest-revealing clothing and may even sport a moustache. However, in China, Guanyin is usually depicted as a woman. Additionally, some people believe that Guanyin is both man and woman (or perhaps neither).

- Wikipedia (link)

Ok maybe not, but she/he sure sounds like she could be my patron goddess of drag. I have a new ambition! I want to grow up to be like Guan Yin!

Strangely, Quan Yin is very similar to the Virgin Mary in Catholic depictions, or the Madonna and child. Twilight zone!

Oh My Goddess!

Historical Hysterical

2009-08-19T23:31:00.000+10:00

Remember how we used to think Mario was the best diggity-doo-dah out there?

I guess its hard for the underdogs. Here's to rule-abiding villains of all games...sacrificing themselves for our entertainment.

Ye shall be remembered....

whatever your names were.

Performance soon

2009-08-18T23:46:00.000+10:00

I shall have to do a performance soon on the 10th of September. This is an epic moment for Lavida my lil wallabies. So do support her.

For my performance, I considered buying this front lace wig which is pretty cheap http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=190322411049&ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT

It only costs around 50 AUSD for both cost and shipment.

It has the cool front lace feature that makes it look like its growing straight from your scalp.

What do you think? Is it a good investment? I can then fling it about and do wild dances.

Apparently there's this wig shop just opposite the Victoria Market that can make a full custom human hair wig for me. Their price quotation was around 250-300 as well. Do you think it's a smart choice buying it from them?

It'll be so much harder to decide on a single hair style though. it'll be 300 bucks. and we want that to last...

Full Front Lace Wigs all the way!

2009-08-17T18:49:00.000+10:00

Oh my goddess! my little wallabies,
If you have extra cash to throw on lil ol' me, do get me a full front lace wig. I have learnt so much from this one video. Where have I been all these months of dragging?

Imagine me flinging my hair about without worry. Imagine doing cartwheels in heels and getting back up with my wig still on. Ahh, a dream come true.

So if there's a fairygoddessmother out there, grant me my pharking wish already!

To My F*cking Boy Mode!

2009-08-16T02:42:00.000+10:00

Look here, No, This is not even addressed to you. Because I have nothing I need to explain to you. This is addressed to my Boymode - Emerald.

EMERALD! fucking wake up already. I know you will always end up forgiving and forgetting. but know this. This so called 'sister' has stepped on you again and again.

You didn't say anything when you had to walk to her place all the time and she didn't even bother to take a taxi to pick you on the way. You didn't say anything when she used to come to your place and drink all your booze but she makes sure you split all alcohol and taxi costs with her. You didn't complain when she intentionally puts you down whenever your girl mode buys or receives something nice. Whenever someone compliments you, she makes sure she inserts a compliment about herself. You let yourself be pulled by her selfishness whenever she wants to go somewhere else , even though you don't. You stay and avoid the men, just to watch out for her till the morning at the peel, but she thinks you're just staying cuz you can't get a guy. Even when it comes to your own project she still tries to make the whole thing about her.

You may forget those things. But remember this Emerald. Remember the Fucking Message she sent you! "

"U always take my trash. I'm pissed cause not you went back with the guy. Cause people told me u were so cheap to go back with my second hand."

Remember always that she accused you of taking her trash even though she only HEARD it from someone else. She's not even sure herself. Even though she was taking a SHIT as soon as you walked into the club, when you met him. And how many times you said nothing even though she went back with guys that you yourself rejected and ran away from. She said you took her TRASH! Apparently she has a non-refundable/non-reusable stamp on her lipstick, cuz when she's kissed them. They are permanently rejected and no one can touch them.

Remember how many times she left you alone at the clubs?! How many times you were left alone or having to take care of the girls that he dumps aside on those nites. How he leaves with men and doesn't mention a single thing and never even thought twice about it. You have tons of witnesses.

Remember her fucking story
"Its so irrtating u know cause even I didn't say it. Everyone told me loh. I don't care. Its just u din even tell me u were leaving."

I didn't even bother to reply her 3 other messages and her miss call. Cuz you know its bullshit!

I already told her off for you
" Look Watever dude. I am extremely aware. If u want to say this kind of bullshit thing then fine. lets just stop hangin out then. Don't call me anymoer. Stop callin all my advertising friends. I will stop callin any friends tat I know thru u. its not a problem at all. bye."

So Emerald, my boychild. you don't have to worry about ur so called drag sister anymore. I've taken care of it for you. You're better off anyway.

AND Listen here you cheap imitation of a Car! Emerald may forgive you tomoro. He may ignore this problem and join your charade of nothing-ever-happened. But Lavida will remember it! I FUCKING remember this. you can say over and over again to forget this. But this time I'm putting a black mark down.

So Just Fuck OFF!

Jewel/Lavida.

Drag to the Zoo!

2009-08-15T20:41:00.000+10:00

Yes my wonderful wallabies! Me, my drag hags and a straightie matie went to the zoo... and I just happened to be in a dress thats all.

I walked in and showed my Student ID at the ticket counter. The girl smiled at me as I told her "I know, I don't look like my photo." She said it was totally alright and I can walk right ahead. Nice girl. Bad eyesight.

The Sun shone over my wig. I ran in like the wild, uncaged animal that I am, and began my hunt for exotic clothing materials. Feathers, boas, furs and skins; Everything would probably look better on me anyway.

Instantly I found the cool crowd where I instantly fit right in. The beautiful people of the zoo, The Peacocks!.. or pea hens... It was truly a delectable hen party. Funny hens I tell you. Donna and Sasha (on my right and left) are hilarious chicks. Erica (the one at the back) is a bitch though. She thinks she's all that.

I wandered into the bamboo forest then.. Such a Zen sort of setting.

Conducive to a short snack and photo-op. The drag-hags prancing around like animals. How unbecoming, ladies. truly.

I soon discovered the butterfly zone. Rumour has it, this was where Mariah Carey once lived. A swarm of butterflies seem to hum " oh oh oh~ oh oh ooh~ Why you so obsessed with me~"

And just like their previous mistress, they were attracted to glitter as well. It is no surprise they came straight for my ring and to pay homage to their new queen. They are well-mannered you see, these butterflies, they knew to kiss the rings of royalty. This one I knighted ' Sir Suckup' ---------- because it sucks up nectar! you silly possums!

All in all, it was an adventure. The animals knew it when they saw royalty; but the HUMANS! Smart species. Poor eyesight.

No one noticed a drag queen! They didn't even kneel and kiss the ground I walk on.

urgh. Men!

Till the next adventure. Lavida lavishes her love on you.

Don't Feed The Models!

Jem & The Holograms

2009-08-15T04:18:00.000+10:00

No wonder I was on the sure path to drag-otory

This is the type of cartoon I was addicted to as a kid. before I mastered the art of feminine illusion.

I remember how I'd rush home from kindergarten and turn on the TV. because Jem is on! her pink hair and stars on her eyes. So glam and flam.

It's weird to see it again after so long. ahaha. What was your childhood cartoon?

Actress

2009-08-15T03:46:00.000+10:00

I just finished helping my friend do this video. A fake audition for Big Brother.

It's not really my house, but all the props are really mine.

If you need an asian drag queen, let me know; I have to start charging though. lol. I might have a bright future as an actress.

From the Peel

2009-08-14T06:58:00.000+10:00

Hey babes! just got home from the Peel!

I love it! tonight was such a fun night. Thanks Sergio for the ride home. And Glasses man for the three drinks plus those for my friends.

Let me tell you, Gay guys will do anything for some airtime! ahahaha. I brought a videocam into the club. And everyone was fighting for a little attention. Night mode is the bomb babes! I look like Paris Hilton filming a porno model shoot.

When you're desired, everyone wants a piece of you. The Glasses man and a Lesbian was fighting for me. A Lesbian people! LESBIAN!!!! Going after a Drag Queen. such transbian stuff. (tranny + lesbian) both were grabbing my hands, and in the end, I just went home with the bouncer! lol. Shh dun think he'll like it.

Video Clips coming up soon! love it! Lavida Loves!

Virgin Post!

2009-08-13T14:44:00.001+10:00

There you go, with a splash of red!

Hi my pretties, Lavida Loca speaks on her blog for the first time. I'm not here to fan my ego (but you sure can do it for me ;) but I'm here to entertain you!

I've come to realise that I have too good a story to tell. The world must know about the Vida Loca , spanish for crazy life, but if you don't know that... you must have been hiding in the closet much too long. Ricky Martin's hit song honey, Livin La Vida Loca!

Therefore, I plan to let you stalk me, talk to me, follow me and even direct me... if you're lucky. So let the dragdomination begin!

don't tear you're tights girls ;) Lavida Loves